Remember that intimate conversation you had with your son? The one where you said, “I love you and I need you to know that no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is not an invitation to cat call, taunt, harass or assault her”?
Or when you told your son, “A woman’s virginity isn’t a prize and sleeping with a woman doesn’t earn you a point”?
How about the heart-to-heart where you lovingly conferred the legal knowledge that “a woman doesn’t have to be fighting you and you don’t have to be pinning her down for it to be RAPE. Intoxication means she can’t legally consent, NOT that she’s an easy score.”
Or maybe you recall sharing my personal favorite, “Your sexual experiences don’t dictate your worth just like a woman’s sexual experiences don’t dictate hers.”
Last but not least, do you remember calling your son out when you discovered he was using the word “slut” liberally? Or when you overheard him talking about some girl from school as if she were more of a conquest than a person?
I want you to consider these conversations and then ask yourself why you don’t remember them. The likely reason is because you didn’t have them. In fact, most parents haven’t had them.?
The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons | Carina Kolodny (via albinwonderland)
"I need feminism because… I’m tired of being one of 3 women at my Fire Department!"
I’m tired of third wave feminism being so obsessed with equality in every single aspect of life… that they are compromising the safety of others. Did you know that the Australian Fire Department has relaxed its fire service strength and fitness tests just for women because most of them could not even complete the bare minimum required for acceptance? That’s right. Women wanted jobs in the fire department, but because they couldn’t pass the required strength tests they threw a temper tantrum and as a result the government relaxed the entry conditions.
Do you realise what the implications of this are? Imagine a Fire Brigade being forced to hire a number of women because they qualified under the relaxed strength and fitness test (and not hiring them would therefore be discrimination). Now image that same Fire Brigade being called out to a building that is on fire. If there were unconscious occupants still in that building, the only chance of survival for them would be if a fireman pulls them to safety. Now what if one of the female firemen finds two, middle aged men unconscious on the second storey? What if she was one of the many women who could only pass the relaxed strength test because the original was too tough for her? After a long struggle she’ll eventually heave maybe one man out of the building before the fire consumes it… in the same amount of time it would have taken her male colleague to bring out both men.
The Fire Brigade strength and fitness tests weren’t designed to exclude women… They were designed to ensure the safety of those in danger! They were designed to ensure that the rescuers were physically capable of rescuing!! Do you notice how men have little hips and big shoulders? Not only is it cute, it makes them 1000x more efficient at lifting and carrying heavy loads than compared to a woman of the same height and weight. That isn’t a result of patriarchy, that is the result of biology and human anatomy, so go sue Mother Nature if you think it is sexist.
Lowering the strength standards has put innocent lives in jeopardy. It has nothing to do with real equality, and everything to do with something as trivial as male:female ratios in certain fields of service. Guess what? It is all because of deluded third wave feminists who consistently fail to look at the bigger picture and are so consumed by their victim complexes and their delusion of being oppressed by the patriarchy that they can’t comprehend the harsh reality of any given situation.
^Same reason why combat units in our military should not relax their standards just so women have an easier time getting into those units.
What the FUCK
Why do some people have the ridiculous, idiotic, misogynist notion that women are not as strong as men? What the fuck?
That Fire Brigade Bullshit probably happened because the only women to apply weren’t physically fit.
But lemme explain to you a thing. Lemme explain to you ALL a thing.
WOMEN ARE NOT WEAKER THAN MEN.
WOMEN ARE NOT WEAKER THAN MEN.
WOMEN ARE NOT WEAKER THAN MEN
SOCIETY JUST TELLS THEM THAT THEY ARE WHICH CAUSES THEM TO LOSE CONFIDENCE, CAUSING THEM TO BE WEAKER.
My dad is a deputy fire chief, and he would have some choice words for the first two responses. He has more than 35 years of experience. He first started in an entry-level position and rose through the ranks, with about eight years outside of a fire department when he was working as a senior investigator and policy analyst at the Office of the Fire Marshall. He also makes a huge effort to hire women, which unfortunately meets with a lot of resistance within the department—by the same people who are also extremely against hiring people of colour or people who aren’t heterosexual. It’s funny how easily bigotry fits into rhetoric of “safety,” isn’t it?
Firstly, women firefighters have to pass the same physical exam as men. A lot men of don’t pass it. A lot of women don’t pass it. But any woman becoming a firefighter has necessarily fulfilled the safety requirements her fitness entails. A lot of women pass the test. Unfortunately, not a lot of women actually apply, because of shitty idiotic attitudes like this. And yes, women often do better on the tests than men. It isn’t the case at all that all men do better than all women who apply. Fuck you for suggesting that.
Secondly, guess what, dipshit. There’s a lot more than goes into putting out fires and rescuing people than brute strength. That’s why there’s a lot of education as well as psychological exams that go into hiring firefighters. And it might stagger you to realize that when you’re talking about entering burning buildings and other hazardous environments, having only a bunch of people with the exact same build and physique is a huge safety risk. You know why the (equally strong, equally smart) women on my dad’s force are such an asset to the team? Because they tend to fit places that men can’t—like through a schoolbus window last month that was inaccessible to almost every firefighter present. My dad says the most effective partners have complementary builds. This often means pairing a woman with a man, as it did in this case. This particular pair often works like this: the man helps move the woman to a place he can’t fit (sometimes literally throwing her through a window). If there hadn’t been a woman, the casualties would have been much higher. And that’s just one example. It’s never a disadvantage to have people of different shapes and sizes, all fully trained and all meeting the same physical requirements of the job, who can contribute differently.
Thirdly, I’m assuming these idiots regard muscled young white men carrying women and children over each shoulder as the Platonic form of firefighter. But it may astonish you to know that in a fire, smoke kills first. You fucking asphyxiate. That’s one reason firefighters never carry people over their shoulder (the other being that it’s extremely dangerous to deadlift a limp body when you’re wearing 80 pounds of equipment—try doing that and you’re more than likely adding to the amount of victims who need to be rescued). If you hold people up to the ceiling, they fucking asphyxiate. Obviously. So you watch too much TV if you think that’s basically the job. How do firefighters evacuate victims from burning buildings? They drag them along the floor. This is so they don’t suffocate the victim, they lead the way first to safety, and they can fully fucking see and manoeuvre through the hazardous environment. I am not strong. I am not in good shape. I could never be a firefighter without some serious physical training (unlike a ton of other women I know, and like a lot of men). Guess what. Even I can drag my 200-pound, tall, male firefighter father across the floor.
You’re not looking out for people’s safety. You’re upholding misogyny and assuming you know what you’re talking about. We do need feminism in firefighting, because it’s a fucking cesspool of white supremacist patriarchal homophobic cissexist anti-immigrant privilege good old boys’ club bullshit. It’s based on nothing but prejudice, and emergency services should fairly represent the population they’re paid handsomely to defend. Thankfully, people are slowly steering away from this. There are more and more women becoming firefighters, and last month, a woman joined a neighbouring department to my dad’s as a deputy chief. She passed the tests. She has experience and a sterling record. She also has a Master in Gender Studies, and she’s not very big.
That was a really long rant that manage to not refute anything OP said, as OP was commenting on a specific instance in which firefighters had their physical standard requirements lowered to accomodate women who otherwise would not have (and probably shouldn’t hae) been able to pass. Then 2nd poster commented on how physical standards in the military differ, you can look this up, it is true in most cases (and very recently, plans to equalise requirements in the USMC had to be delayed because it would cut out half the female sering population as the could not do even 3 pulups). The rant managed to completely circumlocute the specificity of it to ultimately create a specious argument refuting nothing that had preiously been brought up. I’m not going to talk about the line suggeting women do not become as strong as men because society magically stops them physically developing because its such a retarded comment, it feels like bait.
keep your friends close, but your enemies closer
like really, very close
so close that you can feel your enemies breath on your neck
and you shiver with hatred and… anticipation?
turn around and look deep into your enemies eyes, letting your gaze drag down to their lips, your eyes intense with desire. push your enemies up against the wall.
make out with your enemies.
your friends, who are still close, are super uncomfortable and kinda grossed out
I am a reader. I am a writer. People assume I do these things to escape. You couldn’t be more right. I’m escaping a world I don’t like. A world I have no control in. In this world, I am nothing. I am a color, a height, a weight, a number. But in the world of books and writing, I am amazing. I am powerful. I am different. People are better. Worlds are endless. Change is possible. Life is manageable.
when the evening is spread out against the sky
like a patient etherized upon a table
I believed that I wanted to be a poet, but deep down, I just wanted to be a poem.?
Jamie Gil de Bieda
I’m losing a battle I didn’t know I was fighting.
I’m exhausted. I need to get away.
Last week, as part of a cultural discovery project for one of my classes, I spent three days wearing ‘girls’ clothes while going about my day. I wanted to explore the general reaction and preconceptions that people in my city have to clothing, especially in regards to gender. To me, the idea that a piece of fabric or accessory can be so intertwined with who are in our conscious is perplexing. I didn’t want to show off, or offend anyone by my act of curiosity. Rather, I wanted to act as a meticulous observer of the times, to see if the community around me was really as open-minded as I wanted to believe that it was. After all, if such things really only had a place in the realm of high-fashion and in Scottish tradition, then something bigger must be at work.
On the first day, I wore a long-sleeve pink top cropped at the collarbone. I received many compliments, a few glares and even a free Venti gingerbread latte. On the second, I rocked a pink blouse with a high-waisted belt. Again, the same amount of well-wishes, questions and passing eye-rolls. These things were to be expected, as it isn’t necessarily the norm to see someone like me wearing things like these. I felt collected and confident in these modest outfits, seemingly convinced that the world around me could care less about the clothes someone wore. Most affirming was the response to my nails, which were almost always met with a cheerful grin, a high-five and a few words of encouragement.
What happened on the third day changed my perspective on humanity forever. I dressed myself as I normally would; band t-shirt, cardigan, plain Vans, etc. However, instead of black jeans, I complimented the outfit with a plain black skirt and matching set of tights. For me, this was a huge step in self-image. Years ago, I was barely confident enough to leave the house for school. These days, the opposite couldn’t be more true. As I set off about my day, the absolute worst in people came out in a full-force flurry of expletives and discomfort. I was ridiculed in whispers. I was mocked in glances. I was obnoxiously and filthily cat-called by a construction crew who, from behind, couldn’t tell that I was a man. Stopping by a bathroom before a lecture, a frat-bro went out of his way to shove me into the adjacent wall after eyeing me up and down on his way out. Expletives and names that might induce me to vomit were I to repeat them, were casually thrown in my direction with almost zero passing thought. By day’s end, I feared a full-on breakdown, unable to stand up for myself or what I believed in to maintain the integrity of the observer’s perspective. In a way, I had no right to feel that way, mostly because of the realization that this is the way that many have to live their lives. I fought back tears as every stare and ill-formed word engrained themselves in my sub-conscious.
Though I may not know you, I think that it’s important that we all come to understand why these things happen. In my book, cat-calling, shaming and harassment are among the worst actions we can engage in. As a heterosexual male, I will never truly know the fear that women may experience while walking home from work, going see a friend for lunch, or being sized-up in public based on their clothing. I will never truly know the gut-rot that a transgender individual may feel while being eyed up and down at the store or in class, strangers seeming to think as if the clothing they see before them begs a legal invitation of ridicule. I will never truly know the plights of these people, but as an ally and a human being invested in true equality, it is now my obligation to stand up for them as if I did.
What scares me the most is not the glances, mixed emotions, or 10-page paper that will inevitably come as a by-product of this project. No, what scares me is that this is the world we live in. We exist in a place where individuals living their truths can be subjected, directly or otherwise, to fear simply for living those truths. We live in an age where feeling ‘normal’ in your own clothing can create unfathomable contention with strangers, despite them having zero investment in their lives. We live in a world where the material, the fabric, the pieces that adorn you are somehow allowed to say more about who you are than the convictions in your heart and the sincerity in your deeds.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse that world. I refuse to let these things overcome the passion and genuine honesty that I’ve been so fortunate to bear witness to in my time. I refuse to let backwards, unprogressive mindsets stifle the glow and drive of those who are undeservingly robbed of it. Don’t say it can’t happen to you. If it happened to me, under the most average of circumstances on the streets in a progressive-leaning city, it could happen to anyone, and that is something I truly do not understand.
After all, it’s just a skirt.
What is it about a piece of inanimate, plain fabric that scares you so much?
I love you, Tommy.
You are amazing.
people are so frightened by clothing, because we choose what we wear. and sometimes people choose to wear something that doesn’t fit the general approval of what that individual should wear. and the fact that someone else can just wear whatever they want and with that disrupt the image that they have of the world, scares them. because they don’t know how to handle what they don’t understand
ITS FROM FUCKING JURASSIC PARK WHAT THE HELL TUMBLR
I Love Tumblr.
?And I’d choose you; in a hundred different lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.?
Kiersten White (via alonesomes)
having an old tiny worrisome asian lady as my mother is a small burden
these are bullshit because all the screen shots were taken within minutes of each other
TEXT MESS S AGES DONT JUS T FU CKING DISAPPE AR I CAN TAKE SCRE E N SHOTS ALL AT THE SAME TIM E