?
"brilliancy in a nutshell."
ariel cs|21|human galore
supah stah with a second nature.

find|moi|rain|speaks|personal

talk to me.

thoughts



20140505, 2:00 AM

Too many people have access to this blog, so I’ve now become wary about what I write. I wonder if he’s found this blog as well. Which probably wouldn’t matter since I got rid of a lot of my posts anyways.

So I’ll keep the personal stuff to my journal.

Been listening to Rent songs.

Someone run away with me. Go on adventures with me. To Florida, to California, to the oceans, to another continent. I want to see the world, and I need to know that there are larger and more important things out there than me, than you, than anything else around here.

I just have a list of things I want to do this summer. I wish I had people to share them with, although it’s a strange thing since I’ve always kept my personal interests to myself and most people don’t know even half the things I’ve dabbled in. No matter.

I feel like a changed person. Maybe not changed so much as reverted. Back to a glimpse of who I used to be with an idea of who I wanted to be. I am mourning, I am hurt and betrayed, I am haunted, and I am plagued. But I am healing, I am questioning, I am feeling, and I am alive. Whether I like it or not.. Haha. I am not well, but I am better. I am still confused and reckless and unstable, but I am loved. I am deserving of the bigger and greater things in life, and I deserve to be loved by and to love those greater and wonderful people that exist. More importantly, I’m learning to love myself again. I’m not there yet. Not nearly so close.

I am exhausted all the time. I am drained, and I have no energy to do anything. Even if I eat and sleep. Regularly.

My thoughts are disjointed and disconnected, and my shitty writing is reflective of it. I should write more. I should just start writing, instead of complaining and ranting.

I kind of love and am simultaneously not fond of my sister’s laptop. Haha

I have nothing I want to say anymore. Someone should talk to me and keep me company. Keep me sane.

I want cereal… Sigh. Memories. Ghosts.
But really, I want cereal.


written 5 months ago with 2 notes
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whoa, isn’t he basically saying hillary is going to be the next president

(Source: samanthapanther, via mypocketshurt90)

Posted 5 months ago with 87,875 notes
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1021girl:

snickerdoodlesandsausages:

enjolrasactual:

in-love-with-my-bed:

the-winchesters-creed:

ayellowstateofmind:

Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. 

It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.

if you want information it is

and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin

why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?

There’s the hufflepuff

1021girl:

snickerdoodlesandsausages:

enjolrasactual:

in-love-with-my-bed:

the-winchesters-creed:

ayellowstateofmind:

Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. 

It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.

if you want information it is

and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin

why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?

There’s the hufflepuff

(Source: picapixels, via theprofessorstrikesagain)


Posted 5 months ago with 779,698 notes
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?I hope you fall in love
With someone who always texts back and never lets
You fall asleep thinking you’re
Unwanted.
I hope you fall in love with someone
Who holds your hand during the scary parts of
Horror movies and burns
Cookies with you when you’re
Too busy dancing around the
Kitchen.
I hope you fall in love with
Someone who sees galaxies in your eyes
And hears music in your
Heartbeats.
I hope you fall in love with someone who
Tickles you and makes you smile
On hard days and on easy
Ones.
But beyond all that I hope
You fall in love with someone
Who will never leave you behind
And who will never take you
For granted, someone who
Will stand by you when you’re
Right and stand by you
When you’re wrong,
Someone who has seen you at your worst
And has loved you
Still.
I hope you fall in love
With someone who
Kisses you in the rain
And hugs you in the cold and
Wouldn’t have you any other
Way.?


Wouldn’t It Be Wonderful, l.h.k.

(Source: jane-scaaaare, via tronglegacy)

Posted 5 months ago with 288,540 notes
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?My heart didn’t break into a thousand pieces after he left. Instead, I realized all the things he didn’t do. He didn’t want to hear my stories. He didn’t ask me questions. He didn’t smile when I was talking to him. He didn’t hug me out of the blue to make me feel good. His hugs were always a preamble to something else, and after he was gone, I wondered if he ever knew me at all.?


Diane Les Becquets

(Source: wordsthat-speak, via theprofessorstrikesagain)

Posted 5 months ago with 107,663 notes
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skellyscoo:

paulsrockinpagoda:

thatdarnwaffleopolis:

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no.

(Source: sexhaver, via epic-humor)

Posted 5 months ago with 691,139 notes
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REBLOG IF YOU WANT LOVE LETTERS IN YOUR INBOX NOW

askdelvinmallory:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

megmastersismyunicorn:

jensensation:

newgenerationart:

Bonus points if they are from fictional characters.

image

image

f-fiCTIONAL CHARACTERS?

AS IN

PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY PRETEND TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE FOR ME

impossible

(Source: the-young-fish-prince, via veganerdgirl)


written 5 months ago with 326,752 notes
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?People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us… It’s people who claim that they’re good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.?


 Gregory MaguireWicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

(Source: words-and-coffee, via theprofessorstrikesagain)

Posted 5 months ago with 5,663 notes
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?Delete her number.

Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.

Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.

She loves you.

She has been in love with you for too long.

So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.

Forget her.

Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.

Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.

Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.

What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.

Doggedly loyal to you.

That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reachvout to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?

She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.

Right now.

But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.?


Lauren Hooper

reblogging a second time for a different reason.

(Source: laurenhooper, via gingerhobbit-tealover)

Posted 5 months ago with 153,212 notes
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i’m going to write tonight


written 5 months ago with 2 notes
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asriels:

it genuinely baffles me that men don’t want women in positions of power because “they’re slaves to their hormones/emotions” and yet one of the first lines of defence when it comes to rape cases tends to be “it’s hardly his fault look at what she was wearing how could we expect him to control himself

(via theprofessorstrikesagain)


written 5 months ago with 139,926 notes
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timemachineyeah:

huntokar:

pardonmewhileipanic:

jackpowerx:

hellhound-gytrash:

letshaveapantsoffdanceoff:

motivationforfitness:

r-dart:

My Dad isn’t a bad person, he’s just… old fashioned.

This is so much the outlook by many men on a woman’s hormonal fluctuation. As if there is no control. No matter what, women cannot have control of their bodies.

Your dad tells the fucking truth. The last thing America needs is a woman in charge.

Sorry ladies, I’m just saying what we’re all thinking. Women are cuntwaffles during their period.

I’m willing to bet that most people who are irritable are so because they’re uncomfortable or in pain - it’s really hard to be level-headed when you’re in gut-tearing amounts of pain.

The hormonal argument is the biggest load of crap - as if males don’t have hormones or don’t have a hormonal cycle. Actually, male hormone cycles are more frequent and less predictable.

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/male-hormonal-cycles-andropause-1009127

I’m not putting this out there to put one sex above the other but rather to point out that “hur hur hormones!!!” is a really ridiculous reason to discredit and entire group of people, especially when we all have hormones and hormonal cycles.

So we shouldn’t allow a woman president because she supposedly loses her shit and becomes hyperaggressive once a month, but we regularly give power to men who lose their shit and become hyperaggressive whenever a woman rejects their advances.

Seems legit.

I’m not trying to be sexist, but let me use this super archaic view on hormones, coupled with sexist slurs meant to oppress women, all in defense of not giving them power

hurr hurr we’re all thinking it tho amirite

EAT. MY. SHIT.

We can’t let women have power because once a month they turn into TOTAL… dudes.

I’ve said this before and I’ll point it out again - 

Menstruation is caused by change in hormonal levels to stop the creation of a uterine lining and encourage the body to flush the lining out. The body does this by lowering estrogen levels and raising testosterone. 

Or, to put it more plainly “That time of the month” is when female hormones most closely resemble male hormones. So if (cis) women aren’t suited to office at “That time of the month” then (cis) men are NEVER suited to office.

If you are a dude and don’t dig the ladies around you at their time of the month, just think! That is you all of the time. 

And, on a final note, post-menopausal (cis) women are the most hormonally stable of all human demographics. They have fewer hormonal fluctuations of anyone, meaning older women like Hilary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren would theoretically be among the least likely candidates to make an irrational decision due to hormonal fluctuations, and if we were basing our leadership decisions on hormone levels, then only women over fifty should ever be allowed to hold office. 

fuck yes.

(via theprofessorstrikesagain)

Posted 5 months ago with 308,090 notes
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?

Look around your college classroom, spot the virgins.

See, this seems like a game until you skip over the girl with a short skirt and hair in front of her eyes because you heard last summer that she slept with like nineteen guys. You can’t see her hands, but they’re under the table, pulling a rosary through her fingers as she tries to wash the sin off her. She’s only ever kissed three people in her whole life and they’re all girls. She turned down the wrong guy and he told everyone she’s “a whore.” The label “slut” stuck to the bottom of her shoe and swallowed her up.

But that quiet girl who is always reading probably never touched someone else’s penis, you figure, because you don’t know that she goes home and strips down and pulls on tight black leather, you don’t know she’s got a set of whips that could make any set of knees quiver, you don’t know because she’s proud of what she does but she’s not stupid enough to let anyone know about it. She’s sexy, just not here, not where people judge.

See, the truth is: you have no idea who has lost their virginity, because it doesn’t change you. It doesn’t give you some kind of glow or superpower or stamp on your forehead. You know the feeling of waking up on your birthday and thinking “I don’t feel any older whatsoever”? That’s what maybe they’re all so afraid of you finding out: sex doesn’t change you. Sex doesn’t make you an animal, sex doesn’t suddenly make your relationship a million times more stable or intimate or romantic - it can’t fix what’s broken, although it can make the pain go away for a bit. Sex doesn’t really occur with eighty tea lights and a thick white rug. Sex is ugly and loud and frequently awkward, sex is excellent and breathtaking and when you wake up the next morning, you’re the exact same person. There’s not some magical connection with the person in bed beside you. Believe it or not, pregnancy isn’t some kind of punishment - but practice safe sex, get tested, don’t spread your germs around. They want to tell you, “Sex can ruin you” and I’ve heard that a lot as a little girl, that some boy would join me under my sheets and then dump me four days after, used, unhappy.

But I figured out that I’m not a fucking toy. Letting someone have sex with me is not letting them “use” me, because I’m not an object. My father said the issue lay in the fact “Men are insecure and need to know that they’re the best you ever had,” but I think that’s a steaming crock of absolute-wrong and if I didn’t tell the people I’m with how many others I’d slept beside, there would be literally no way for them to know my number, because I don’t rust, I don’t wear out, I don’t get bruised. I’m not a wilting fruit, I don’t go rotten.

But here’s the thing: some people connect sex and emotion. I don’t personally because I am probably secretly an ice storm in disguise, but I still respect my partner’s desires. If they’re the type to want love and sex to coincide, I let them. I don’t make fun, I don’t pull one-night-stands or friends-with-benefits, because it’s not their “reputation” I’m afraid for: it’s their heart I’m defending.

Here’s the thing: Instead of worrying about people’s “purity” and how it defines them as a person, worry instead about how you can protect other people’s emotions.

Because here’s the thing: look around your room and spot the virgins. Look harder. You can’t tell. Sex doesn’t alter people, it doesn’t make them act in a certain way nor dress in a certain manner. Sex and personality have nothing to do with each other. There’s a reason that virginity doesn’t show on someone’s face: because having sex doesn’t cause you to change.

?


"I lost my virginity to a boy I didn’t even love…" /// r.i.d

(via mrajolras)

Posted 5 months ago with 43,996 notes
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Send a flower fairy!!

  • Acorn Fairy: Favorite prank you've ever seen/done?
  • Almond Blossom Fairy: Something difficult you've done in order to succeed?
  • Apple Blossom Fairy: What would you like your future self to be like?
  • Beechnut Fairy: A prayer, rhyme, or saying that is special to you?
  • Bird's-Foot Trefoil Fairy: Strangest thing you've ever found?
  • Blackberry Fairy: Someone that you are envious of?
  • Blackthorn Fairy: A very difficult moment in your life?
  • BlueBell Fairy: A strange superstition that you have?
  • Bugle Fairy: Who would you protect no matter what?
  • Candytuft Fairy: Something that you're indifferent to? (don't really care about that everyone else makes a big fuss over)
  • Canterbury Bell Fairy: Your favorite song you like to sing when you're bored?
  • Cherrytree Fairy: Something you're very knowledgeable of?
  • Chicory Fairy: Something you love to do that keeps you energized?
  • Christmas Tree Fairy: Your favorite gift you have ever received
  • Columbine Fairy: What is your favorite comedy?
  • Daisy Fairy: Are you a morning person?
  • Double Daisy Fairy: What is something you're still unsure of?
  • Elderberry Fairy: One time you've helped solve a dispute?
  • Elm Tree Fairy: A place you've always wanted to see?
  • Forget-me-not Fairy: A special memory of love?
  • Fuchsia Fairy: A childhood wonder that you've always kept?
  • Gorse Fairy: What is something you're proud of?
  • Hawthorn Fairy: Something that gives you hope?
  • Heliotrope Fairy: A philosophy or religion you follow?
  • Holly Fairy: Ever had your future told?
  • Honeysuckle Fairy: Favorite song to dance to?
  • Jasmine Fairy: Your favorite item to decorate your house with?
  • Laburnum Fairy: What is your favorite musical instrument?
  • Lavender Fairy: Something that makes you wary?
  • Lilac Fairy: A moment that made you realize something amazing? Or world changing?
  • Lily of the Valley Fairy: A time you had to practice restraint?
  • Michaelmas Daisy Fairy: A regret you have?
  • Mountain Ash Fairy: Your favorite way to banish something from your life?
  • Mulberry Fairy: Something naughty/illegal you've always wanted to do?
  • Narcissus Fairy: Your favorite feature of yourself?
  • Nasturtium Fairy: Something you are proud of?
  • Nightshade Fairy: Someone you would never lie to?
  • Pear Blossom Fairy: what do you find the most fun to do?
  • Phlox Fairy: Something you wish you could do over again?
  • Pine Tree Fairy: What is the worst joke/trick anyone has played on you?
  • Poppy Fairy: Your most important victory?
  • Primrose Fairy: Favorite childhood memory?
  • Ragged Robin Fairy: What is your favorite dancing style?
  • Ragwort Fairy: where would you like to travel to?
  • Red Campion Fairy: What cheers you up when you're sad?
  • Red Clover Fairy: What is your dream job?
  • Rose Fairy: Someone you love the most and why?
  • Rosebay Willow-herb Fairy: Favorite pass-time?
  • Rose Hip Fairy: Favorite food?
  • Sloe Fairy: What do you think is hard to do?
  • Snowdrop Fairy: Favorite Season?
  • Speedwell Fairy: favorite color?
  • Stitchwort Fairy: Favorite constellation?
  • Strawberry Fairy: What is the thing you want the most?
  • Sweet Chestnut Fairy: What injustice angers you the most?
  • Sweet Pea Fairy: Pain or pleasure?
  • Traveller's Joy Fairy: Last vacation you had?
  • Tulip Fairy: What color are your eyes?
  • Wayfaring Tree Fairy: A journey you wish to take?
  • White Bindweed Fairy: the person/thing you can always depend on?
  • Wild Cherry Blossom Fairy: The best lie you've ever told?
  • Wild Rose Fairy: What are you afraid of?
  • Winter Jasmine Fairy: Someone that helps you often?
  • Yew Fairy: Something that makes you sad?
Posted 5 months ago with 11,148 notes
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