I’ve kissed more “friends” than I care to count (and more friends than I care to admit have seen me naked, but that’s a story for another time).
Some, I’ve come to regret. Others, I wish I had enjoyed more at the time. But if anything, they were all done spontaneously and without much thought.
In retrospect, I wish I took more time and care to give some of these people the kisses they deserved.
It’s really weird saying this because the idea of a kiss has become so sexualized and romanticized. But kisses are so varied in their meanings and uses, much like one can feel love and affection for and from others in a multitude of ways.
They show a great deal of affection, when done right, and expose a lovely spot of vulnerability. And the rush afterward is inexplicable - feeling a deliciously secret message brushed onto the canvas of your very skin.
Kisses from children are the sweetest. They’re willing to trade kisses for anything, the little whores. Glow sticks, yogurt, phones… *guilty* and no, I’m not sexually harassing them… They were on the cheek, for crying out loud. The intentional ones, anyways…
I’m not advocating mass kissing sprees. I’m just reflecting on the nature of kisses and the wonders that should go into a proper one. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed by someone that I have the urge to kiss them. Not necessarily on the lips, of course. Cheek, hand, fingers… to keep this all relatively casual (and PG ;) ). To show appreciation for being wonderful or lovely. Not because I’m head-over-heels in love or because I want to fuck. But just because they’re a wonderful human being in that moment and words fail to contain the outpour of feelz.
Maybe I’m putting too much meaning behind this now. Another one of my random late night rambles.
So maybe I should kiss my friends more. Although I don’t think any of them would take it the right way or even be comfortable with their personal space being so blatantly violated.
Maybe I should violate personal spaces more.
Nah, actually. This is pretty weird coming from me since I’m one of those people that are largely uncomfortable with being touched except by a few exceptional people. Although if those exceptions ever kissed me, I’d be perfectly okay with it. So yeah, that’s what I was getting at. Lulz.
Ariel attempting articulation at 2:34 AM.
I lost my train of thought with this whole post. Should sleep now.. or soon.. or now.. or soon………
Jessica started her nap 3 hours and 20 minutes ago. Okay, it isn’t really a nap anymore. I should probably get into the habit of sleeping at more normal times. Merp.
I think I sprained my wrist or pulled a muscle or something.. I may also be coming down with a cold or something…
Don’t let the bed bugs bite~
Teehee I’m happy.
(Happy makes me wary.)
I don’t want to sleeeeep.
I want to see the world
and learn new things and meet new people.
I want to see all the people I love
And all the people who have kept me in their thoughts
And give them warm hugs and endearing kisses
I want to chase dreams
And get back up
I want to be able to share the world
And all its wonders
I want to be happy
I want to try
I want to live
And as much as that scares me,
I crave it
I need it
I tremble with anticipation.
In the end, if my life can be construed as a piece of art in some way or form, no matter the path I take. Maybe it will be enough. Maybe it will be okay.
When I paid for Jessica’s and my dinner, and as the waiter was walking away with the check, she stood in front of me, befuddled, with her credit card in hand, saying, “But I was gonna pay!”
So I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Then go! Run after him.”
And she actually did…
Or tried to, more like.
My oldest friendssss: the girl I call my best friend and the boy that wouldn’t take a picture
AKA my favorite people at NIU
Spoiler: there are no nice asses in the hallway. :’(
I’m sitting outside of Jessica’s classroom, 38 minutes into the class, with approximately two hours left to go. Merp.
The Book Thief sits next to me as I casually lean back into this strangely comfortable couch, typing into my gigantic phone and simultaneously killing my phone battery and eating away my data plan as I listen to Jessica’s “Pump Up” playlist (currently listening to Travis Barker’s Get Low remix?? This girl seriously has the strangest, un-nonpleasantly eclectic taste in music).
Mm now it’s Fuego by Pitbull. I approve. I’m strangely fond of him. Yes, more so than Ke$ha, Jessica. -_- (and no, I’m not that fond of her… sigh yearbooks)
Maybe I should make it a resolution to write something everyday. God knows my memory is absolute shit. Defense mechanisms gone wrong, amirite.
I started to write stuff before realizing there was stuff I didn’t want to publish online, so maybe I’ll keep it to my other blog. Haha…
But yesterday was absolutely fun. :3 P-, J-, and I went to Chicago where we met with T- and ate and watched a movie together. P- and T- were absolutely adorablee, with their cute hats and light hearted skips. J- was lovely as always, and that’s all I’ll say for now. Although when it comes to J-, I never really know what to say or where to start.
We watched American Hustle, which was okay. The actors’ and actresses’ performances were phenomenal, but I wasn’t fond of the story and how nothing really seemed to change by the end. And I think something about the portrayal of women bothered me. How the main female roles were centralized on feeling loved. I don’t know whether it’s because of the feminist in me or whether it bothered me because I can’t figure out how true it may be. Meanwhile the men were off doing business and acting stupid…
Mm afterwards, W- picked me up and we left to Dekalb. We had a lovely talk about random things. Although he has his moments of being a bit unnerving, he’s a sweetheart to the core.
And then Jessica happened. And then we slept and when I woke up, I found the bed cold and empty with a smothered, facedown bear.
So I watched Sherlock S3E3. I don’t know what to feel about this season at all. Merp.
And now, I’m sitting here with 10% battery and another hour and a half to go.
Wish me luck, keep me company. I should stop tumblr-ing now and read. Gaah.
On another note, I can’t seem to sleep past 10 AM (7 hours of sleep again) and walking up two flights of stairs leaves me breathless and crazily pulsating. And as erotic as that sounds, no, it’s not fun. Nor healthy, I presume. Haha.
And I have no money. Sigh. Not working sucks but working sucks too. Hrm. Gonna be a broke ass bitch soon.
how do you get over frustration?
So I wrote out a whole response before I got frustrated with myself for feeling pretentious and whatever.
So be more specific. I want to be able to personalize a response for you and give you a human, personal, and conversational response rather than a generic answer. If you’d prefer a private answer, you can ask off anon (and mention you’d like a private response).
Unless you meant me specifically, as in how I myself deal with frustration.
i think i’m going to make another blog with all my reblogged crap. or maybe i’ll make the other one my personal one. idk. my mind’s cluttered.
?I just want to pour my soul out on someone and not have to worry about the mess I’ve made.?
Andrea Slicker (via via-slimshady)
werent you in a club or some organization your freshman year of college? sophomore?
That’s incredibly vague, but yes, I was. I imagine a lot of people were in some organization.
maybe i should make it a new year resolution to stop reblogging shit
my arms feel incredibly heavy
one of those nights where time is infinite and i can’t stand being alone because i’m afraid of where my own mind will take me.